Burnt expectations, dreading the fire.

Life happened to take a lot of twists and turns that comprised of mostly happiness which I failed to appreciate. Thankfully, the job front has been kind but when it comes to managing real life relations, it’s a task. They say that you cannot keep everyone happy. I agree. But it thoroughly saddens me to see that the person or the people that we want to keep happy don’t seem to appreciate it. It’s true indeed, when we end up doing too many favors for someone, they take us for granted. The real glitch is when we stop doing it, they notice. They might bitch behind my back and overlook at all the other instances where I’ve been of a great deal of help to them.

There’s a lesson I need to learn but I’m lazy, stubborn and in major denial.  I love being pushed over by people, being a doormat and many other things that you wouldn’t even imagine. My mistake, you ask? Wanting to see others genuinely happy. I say, why keep enemies? Well, at least I don’t like keeping any. People might look at it the other way but, whatever. I’ve always advised people a lot of things. I’m also that “forever alone” person who gives amazing relationship advice. I certainly don’t get the math. I’m giving out solutions and solace to people without making those mistakes that they’ve seemed to make. It’s funny. It’s a joke.

Never get habituated to a person. That’s the worst thing, ever. They’re as good as smoking, drinking or getting stoned. I’m still recovering from it. They are like your very own subconscious mind that seems to control almost everything. Your mood swings, the time you sleep and also the time you wake up. You’ll certainly get carried away and suffer from damaging your feelings and self-respect. As a kid, I had heard about people who take advantage of your services (yes, you read that right), can easily gauge the fact that you’ll never say ‘no’ to them and sweet talk when they have a purpose. Right now, I have a lot of people like that in my life. And it truly astonishes me as to how cunning one can be behind that pretty face.

I’m that burnt child who’s dreading the fire. Sometimes I think I chose the fire. Considering we’re drowned into our smartphones now-a-days, a certain someone’s ‘last seen at’ determines the status of what we share (d). Generally it’s ‘oh-I’ll-chat-away-to-glory-with-others-but-ping-this-lousy-one-for-a-purpose’. That explains it all. A friend recollects every time I confide. The friend mentions that I’ve confided every time the ‘talkative’ one messages for a purpose. And best friends are always right. I’ve known the now talkative one differently. I’ve known that one as a mellowed down, a genuinely confiding and someone who really cared.

Maybe, all of my assumptions are wrong. Maybe. But I cannot deny the fact that most of them do remember you to fulfill a certain purpose. We’re all bound by purposes. I had read somewhere that the one who’s the most helpful in other people’s worst case scenarios is like a candle. They might tap all the sources possible but when there’s practically no light, you’re a candle who instills brightness in pitch darkness. It sounded great when I read it for the very first time. Later, I analyzed it. Humans like me sacrifice their self-respect to see someone happy every time they’ve asked for a favor. I would not want my precious self-respect to be compared to something as inanimate as a candle.

They will come and go. It is up to us how we deal with them. They’ll make lame excuses, lie through their teeth and maybe come back again to fulfill a purpose. Leave aside ‘love’, people need to become a ‘good friend’. I may not be a burnt child who’s dreading the fire but my expectations surely are burnt. Let’s face it, WE ALL EXPECT.



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